Connect with us

News

Show me the money

Published

on

‘);
} else {
$(“.fotorama-caption”).addClass(“remove_caption”);
}
})
.fotorama();

I think you have

No money in your purse.

— Shakespeare, As You Like It, III, 4

 

Your purse is empty, your wallet is bare, your bank account is weak, I have no use for you. Show me the money. Remember that movie from years ago titled Jerry Maguire that starred Tom Cruise? He played the fast-talking slick football agent who always got great contracts for his clients.

The most iconic and memorable phrase from that movie that resonates to this day, was, ‘Show me the money.’ If you couldn’t remember anything else from that movie, you’d remember that line.

That’s because it sums up the reality of life. Another statement also rings true, ‘Money talks and bullsh..t walks.’ That’s right, either you put up or shut up, and if you don’t have cash, then I have no time to waste with you.

It takes cash to care, and people only care if you have cash, so without it, just keep on walking. Many people may not like to hear it, but the cold hard truth is, it takes cold hard currency to get any respect. And if you want many people to respect you, then you have to flash those dollars.

“Yeah man, is the big man that, spreading the money around.” Money makes the mare run and he who pays the piper calls the tune. But there are also dangers, for it’s said in the Bible that the love of money is the root of all evil, plus a fool and his money are soon parted.

My amendments to those are, the lack of money is the root of all evil, and a fool and his money give great parties. Whichever way you spin it, money is the common denominator and it comes in various denominations.

So, show me the money, we’ll see how, why, when and where, right after these ejaculatory responses to ‘Sex pressure’.

 

Hi Tony,

Ah yes, sex, it’s what makes the world go round. It’s also what populates the Earth. Sex is necessary and natural as eating and breathing, or should I say, breeding? Sex is the end result of raging hormones, affection and lovemaking. We should ignore the pressure of sex and let it just happen naturally. If the pressure is self-imposed, take matters in your own hands, or relieve the pressure manually or hook up with a woman who sexually stimulates you. In ancient times, a father would take his teenage son to a woman who was expert in the ways of sex. How civilised.

Ingrid

 

Hello Teerob,

Sex pressure is real. For the past seven years I have been pressuring my wife to have sex with me and all I get is the cold shoulder. Is that what they call the seven-year itch that needs scratching? Ah bwoy.

Brian

 

One truth of life is that there is no free lunch. Oh, not because someone gives you something for free, or provides you with food means that it’s free. It may be free to you, but someone, somewhere had to pay for it. Also, there may be strings attached and you end up paying for it in another way. There’s often a hidden agenda, as something for something is the order of the day.

The reality is it takes money to achieve anything, and whenever people say to you, “It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” don’t believe them. Trust me, it’s the money. People will borrow money from you and not pay it back and regale you with a song and dance of words and excuses.

You may say, “It’s not the money that they owe me, but it’s the principle of not paying me back.” Hogwash, it’s the money, show me the money. People will also approach you with all manner of schemes and plans, but haven’t got a dollar to invest and back up their lofty ideas. “Put your money where your mouth is.”

In courthouse business, prison time is punishment, but so are fines that hurt the pocket.

“That will be 12 months or $500,000, what do you say?”

“I’ll take the $500,000, Your Honour.”

Wise guy huh, that sentence hit him where it hurts, in his pocket, so he better show the judge the money or do the jail time. This can also take a cruel twist, for at times a person’s health can depend on whether they have money to show or not. In some private hospitals, this can be brutal.

I have heard cases of people showing up at certain private hospitals in mortal pain or debilitating agony, almost at death’s door, and the first thing that’s asked is, “Do you have health insurance, do you have cash?” In other words, show me the money.

I guess the hospitals have to survive, but it can really sound cold and callous to be demanding funds at that critical time. The point is though, it boils down to one thing, show me the money. And yet they say that money can’t buy health or life. That saying has to be revised to keep in line with these modern times. Not only can money buy life, so to speak, but it also makes living far more comfortable. “I was happy riding my bicycle, but even happier driving my BMW X5,” said the man who came into good fortune.

This showing of money has become so pervasive that some people actually believe that to physically show wealth is validation, which gets them much respect. It may work in certain quarters as some people are impressed, and as they say, frighten when dem see money. The term conspicuous consumption springs to mind.

There is this dancehall DJ whose signature style is to throw wads of money into the crowd during his performance and watch the patrons scramble for the loot. When it comes to money, some people discard all dignity and will scamper around like chickens fighting over corn.

Other people show their money by living a lavish lifestyle for all the world to see, as they flash cash, jewellery, fancy cars and mansions. They buy what they don’t need, and their greatest need is to show the money and what it got them.

Remember what they say about a fool and his money being easily parted. Well, so will the friends after the money is gone. It was Shakespeare who wrote, “Those you make friends, and give your hearts to, when they once perceive the least rub in your fortunes, fall away like water from ye.” No money no love.

“Wah happen to him entourage, him friend dem, the women?”

“The money dry up, so dem cut and gone.”

Which brings me to one area where money has to be shown or no love is given. At the very base level, when a man enters into an agreement with a prostitute, her first words usually are, “Show me the money.” There is no credit plan, no hire purchase, but cash up front. That’s what I’m told.

At a different level, when a man squires a woman, she may not ask up front for him to show her the money, but it’s foremost on her mind. Nuh woman nuh want nuh bruk pocket man, and that’s a fact of life. There is no money in your purse, so walk on by.

Any man entering a relationship with just his two long empty hands will be making use of those hands to find pleasure, for he’s certainly not getting any woman. Show me the money, show me your credit cards, show me what you drive, show me where you live, show me that you care. And it takes cash to care.

It’s a fact of life, folks, you can’t travel on an aeroplane, can’t book into a fancy hotel, can’t enrol into a top-class university, can’t marry a classy woman, unless you show the money. Even in church you have to show the money, and many churches now have credit and debit card systems in place to collect tithes. Just an aside, but I saw where remittances from Jamaicans living overseas topped over US$1.7 billion last year. That’s billion with a B. Now, that’s showing the money.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

 

Footnote: Here’s what I find really fascinating, this love/hate affair that so many people have with Kingston College (KC), the famed purples. No other school has been the subject of so much media attention, praise, criticism, love, dislike, envy, bad mind and even hatred as KC. One writer, a past Wolmer’s student, recently penned, Jamaica is KC country and actually wrote glowingly about KC. Here’s what’s interesting, in the school year 2018-2019 KC won the football Manning Cup, Colts Under-16 urban and national titles, Gatorade Cup, debating Kiwanis Cup, Boys’ and Girls’ Champs, Digicel Grand Prix, numerous silver and bronze places in swimming, hockey, etc and academic achievement was 89 per cent. But here’s what some detractors focused on, the fact that KC came second in Schools Challenge to St Jago. It’s so unfair to St Jago who won the trophy and almost diminishes that fine achievement.

Now you can read the Jamaica Observer ePaper anytime, anywhere. The Jamaica Observer ePaper is available to you at home or at work, and is the same edition as the printed copy available at http://bit.ly/epaperlive

Source link

قالب وردپرس

News

Jamaican attorney is newest magistrate in British Virgin Islands

Published

on

By



























Jamaican attorney is newest magistrate in British Virgin Islands





























































Copyright © 2020 Jamaica Observer. All Rights Reserved.

Terms under which this service is provided to you.
















Source link

قالب وردپرس

Continue Reading

News

Taxi app coming for Westmoreland

Published

on

By



























Taxi app coming for Westmoreland





























































Copyright © 2020 Jamaica Observer. All Rights Reserved.

Terms under which this service is provided to you.
















Source link

قالب وردپرس

Continue Reading

News

Jamaican-American credits late ‘Butch’ Stewart for US success

Published

on

By



























Jamaican-American credits late ‘Butch’ Stewart for US success





























































Copyright © 2020 Jamaica Observer. All Rights Reserved.

Terms under which this service is provided to you.
















Source link

قالب وردپرس

Continue Reading

News

‘First come, first served’

Published

on

By



























‘First come, first served’





























































Copyright © 2020 Jamaica Observer. All Rights Reserved.

Terms under which this service is provided to you.
















Source link

قالب وردپرس

Continue Reading

News

Sav adds backup emergency shelter after McKenzie’s chiding

Published

on

By



























Sav adds backup emergency shelter after McKenzie’s chiding





























































Copyright © 2020 Jamaica Observer. All Rights Reserved.

Terms under which this service is provided to you.
















Source link

قالب وردپرس

Continue Reading

popcaan